Do’s and Don’ts Of Raising Children

As Parents We Are Learning All The Time. There Is No Right Or Wrong Only Different Ways To Try Something.

As Parents We Are Learning All The Time. There Is No Right Or Wrong Only Different Ways To Try Something.

My children are growing up so fast. I was reflecting today on some of the moments we have shared and lessons I have learned over the years. Some are total common sense others are moments where I probably should have been paying a bit more attention and somethings one can only learn through experience……

Don’t assume a fussy baby is always hungry. They may just have a tummy ache and you can make it worse by overfeeding them. Then they will cry all night long.

Don’t be afraid to admit to your child when you are wrong. It is good for children to see and hear their parents are not perfect.

Don’t think you can go on long car rides with a young child susceptible to carsickness without “Gravol” or a bucket. You will be cleaning up Puke Messes every time.

Don’t treat or speak to your child in any way you would not want to be treated or spoken to yourself. Just because they are Little does not mean they deserve less respect.

Don’t let your 18 month old child go to the top of the highest slide in the park without someone standing behind her. She may fall all the way down to the bottom of the ladder because she all of a sudden changed her mind as you were waiting at the bottom to catch her.

Don’t let your baby eat the sand on the beach. They will survive but sand is dirty and they will have a gritty bottom for days afterwards.

Don’t let your teenage child play with tin cans full of sand at the beach. They will probably get a sliced finger and need medical attention.

Don’t tie two boats together with you and your young children and go floating down a river. Even though the children have lifejackets on, rivers have many sweepers and can be unpredictable. You never know what might happen.

Don’t take your children with you in the car to pick up large furniture. You may have nowhere for them to sit on the way home and be stranded at the store.

Don’t think you can discipline two children in the same way. Nothing is that simple they have different personalities.

Don’t make promises to your child you can not keep. They will lose faith in you and feel it is ok for them to break their promises to you.

Don’t be afraid to do a service for your child if you have been too harsh with them or said something to make them feel bad unintentionally. It teaches them we all make mistakes and we can all do something to make it better.

Do…

Give services as consequence when your child has misbehaved or hurt someone. It allows them to make up for a wrong doing and feel better about themselves.

Take your child to the see a show or a play in the Theatre once in a while. It teaches them to appreciate culture other than TV and video games.

Make sure your children get to spend time with their grandparents. They are important people with a world of knowledge and love to share.

Tuck your child in every night when they are young and lay with them for a few minutes. It is amazing what is shared with you about their day in the quiet moments before sleep.

Make up bedtime stories to share with your child. They will love listening to them and you can add lessons into the story to help your child learn more about life.

Have your child help out around the house. It teaches them skills they will need later in life, builds confidence and helps them to feel they are a useful member of the family.

Take your child camping and out in nature. It teaches them to enjoy and appreciate the beauty around them.

Pick up any garbage you see in nature. Your child will learn to take care of their environment through watching you.

Make time to have tea parties after school with your children once in a while. They will love the treat and it gives you a moment to connect with them on their day.

Always make the effort to eat dinner as a family. It is a time to connect with each other and is great family bonding time.

Stick up for your young child and others and help them work out their fights. A child cannot learn how to work through or avoid an argument unless they are shown the skills to do so.

Take naps with your babies and young children. They are some of the best cuddle moments you will ever have with them.

Get involved with your child’s school even if it is in small ways. It’s not only shows you care but you will know much more about what goes on in their day from the people you meet at the school.

Take time to play and be goofy with your child. They will treasure those moments the most.

Tell your children you love them every day. They need to hear it from you many times to believe it.

Forgive your child for what they do or say when they are angry. They don’t mean it. Anger is a very difficult emotion to control and it is good to remember they are still learning as are we.

Be gentle with yourself and your child. Remember every moment is a teachable moment. You may both learn from each experience and do things differently the next time. We are all doing the best we can with what we know in this moment, next time we will know a little more.

Restaurant Nightmares! Will We Ever Eat Out Again?

Ever been in a restaurant and watched a parent lose complete control of their child?  The child is running all over the restaurant, jumping in and out of other booths, crawling under the tables chatting and poking other diners generally being annoying. The parents of the child usually look utterly frustrated and embarrassed trying desperately to get their child to behave or trying to blend into the wall paper and pretend the little terror doesn’t belong to them. Ever been that parent?

Sit Nice Tommy, Dinner is almost here! Pleease...

Sit Nice Tommy, Dinner is almost here! Pleease…

I know an occasion when I have and I could have crawled under the table myself in embarrassment. Not that I was ignoring my child just that as a stay at home mom and deprived of adult conversation I was enjoying the moment with friends and kids being kids she was off. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must have been for the restaurant staff and how dangerous for my child. What if Marie had run into a server carrying a tray full of hot food and drinks? It could have been a disaster.

After my experience I knew I needed to come up with some strategies to keep my kids busy at the table while waiting for their food. It is tough for little kids to sit quietly, by the time we get to the restaurant they are already hungry so to wait another 30-40 minutes for food to arrive is unbearable for them. What can we do to help them?

Dining Out Parenting Strategies…

  • Always carry a toy bag with you into the restaurant packed with age appropriate toys and books. Let’s face it the coloring sheet and crayons restaurants give out aren’t always enough.  I had a small back pack stuffed with Mega Blocks, toy cars, small books, a Barbie, a coloring book and crayons. We took it everywhere then when we were stuck in a line or waiting for food the kids always had something to do.
  • Keep a pen, small deck of cards and a pair of folding scissors in your purse as emergency backup just in case you forget the toy back pack. Many a time I have asked the waitress for a stack of napkins and spent the wait time drawing pictures and cutting out snowflakes with my children. The folding scissors could come in handy for all kinds of other tasks like cutting freezies, ribbon on birthday presents and loose threads. As the kids got older they would play card games to pass the time.
  • Have a 30 minute rule for restaurants. If we could not be seated, ordered and eating within 30 minutes at a restaurant we never went back.
  •  Don’t seat siblings together they are bound to find something to fight about. Our rule has always been “Keep em Seperated!”
  •  If your child is starving before you leave home bring some small snacks to the restaurant to keep them occupied. Dried cereal, fishy crackers, small cut up fruit or veggie’s in a container are perfect. A hungry child can be very cranky.
  • After ordering, take the kids to the bathroom to wash their hands and do any other necessary business if needed. It could kill 5-10 minutes of wait time especially if you check things out on the way there and back… maybe an interesting picture or plant.
  •  If the kids are really fidgety have one parent take them outside for a short walk, they can release come energy and the parent waiting can wait in peace and quiet then text or call them back in when the meal arrives. (this is a good one to rotate so each parent gets a turn enjoying the quiet before the meal)
  • Look for restaurants in your area with a ‘Play Zone” for kids. McDonalds maybe the biggest but it’s not the only one. Some family restaurants have a small toy corner where parents can amuse their children while waiting for their food. Google “Kid Friendly Restaurants” in your city for choices. My favorite one in Vancouver is ‘Sophie’s Cosmic Café’ the food is great, the walls are packed with old toys for the kids to look at and they have a small toy corner sectioned off for kids to entertain themselves. Definitely worth checking out.
  • If you have a favorite restaurant in your neighbourhood get a takeout menu and ask the staff if you could call your orders in ahead of time so the food would be almost ready when you arrive with your family at the restaurant. If it isn’t a super busy night and they know you restaurants can usually be accommodating.
  • Pack up, pay and leave. As our kids got older my husband and I had a rule… They would get three warnings if they didn’t behave we would pack up, pay and leave the restaurant before finishing. They would then each be responsible for reimbursing us the cost of their meal because of the inconvenience and embarassment of their chosen behaviours. Although we would have enforced this rule we never had to, by the second warning they usually decided to settle down instead of pay.
  • If the server was good and had lots of patience always leave a big tip! Especially when dining with young children. I figure they not only put up with us but had to clean up after my kids dropped food all over the floor and they deserved a good tip.
  • Last but not least if all else fails and being in a restaurant is totally unbearable “Don’t Eat Out Do Take Out!” It is always easier, no one has to cook and the kids can play at home until the food arrives. We have done many more nights of take out than dining out and everyone is happy!

I wish you all the best on your future dining out experiences and hope these tips will help your meal be a peaceful one. If you have a tip that has worked for you I would love to hear about it. Every idea helps and the more the better.

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Disclaimer

The information on this site is based on the personal experience of the author. There are no guarantees of a perfect method to raise a child, it is all trial and error. Please feel free to try some of the suggestions on this site and let me know how you make out. If you would like to use any words or pictures from this blog please contact me for written permission. © 2013

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